Rachael vs. Guy Episode Three: Cheeseburgers, Glitter, and Milkshakes!
Editor’s Note: Last week, I was informed by some Twitter users that the nickname Johnny Weir(d) is viewed as derogatory. I had no idea, and didn’t mean it that way in my earlier posts, but from here on out that nickname is banned from my reviews. Read on, foodies!
Binky: OK, to be honest, I find myself enjoying this show far more than I thought I would, since cooking shows are totally not my thing. But every episode has captured my attention, made me laugh out loud, and gotten me invested enough in the teams that I’m always sorry to see another contestant eliminated. This week was especially awesome, with Johnny taking his mission quite seriously: “I know I have to pull out all the stops…” And he did. And so I’ll be watching again next week…
Dan: Me too! I thought this would be some type of Celebrity Apprentice knockoff (which it totally still is), but it’s actually entertaining! Maybe it’s because the celebrities here are likeable and not trying to claw one another’s face off for 15 more minutes of fame; whatever the reason, it’s enjoyable. I have to say, I wasn’t the biggest Johnny Weir fan before, but this episode and his commitment to winning for his charity really won me over. I always joke that if I were to do one of these shows, pride and dignity would go out the window in a heartbeat for my charity, so I’m glad to see someone taking the same approach here.
In case you still haven’t started watching this show (and I suggest you kill your Sunday nights doing so), the celebrities still in the running are: Team Rachael- Kathy Najimy, Hines Ward, Carnie Wilson; Team Guy- Dean McDermott, Johnny Weir, Chilli. Anyway, this week the celebrities were gathered in the famous Mel’s Diner and told that their next task would be to create and serve diner staples to patrons. Wasn’t this the first task on a Celebrity Apprentice, and didn’t that charity get six figures? Just saying, Food Network, just saying.
Binky: At Mel’s Diner, Guy explains: “You are going to create the real-deal dining experience for your guests. Two people in the back cooking, one person out front working with the wait staff. Can you feel the magic?” Yes, until Team Guy learns that Team Rachael gets to assign them their sandwiches.
Dan: The three sandwiches are a tuna melt, a club sandwich (I really miss these since going veg), and a cheeseburger (CHEEZEBORGER CHEEZEBORGER… Chicago joke…ha…ha). Team Rachael gave Chilli the cheeseburger (unsurprisingly, she called it the Chilliburger), Dean got the tuna melt, and that meant that Johnny, for the third time (!) in a row got a poultry sandwich. There’s only so many ways to skin a cat, and there’s only so many ways for anyone to make chicken.
Binky: “I’ve made chicken the past two weeks, so I feel like I’m staying exactly where I am,” [Johnny] explains to the camera, “but it isn’t my fault.” But then Guy makes it all better with this suggestion: “Between Chilli and Johnny, who is going to be the team captain? If I may weigh in, I think: Captain Glitter.”
Dan: In the brainstorming session, Dean is worried about spinning the tuna melt in a certain way. Guy shoots down his idea of making an oil-based salad, instead telling him to focus on changing up the cheese. He chooses a Gruyere. Chilli is concerned about making the cheeseburger, so in the end she decides to play it safe and make a traditional burger with a special sauce. Johnny comes up with an avocado mayonnaise to spice up his turkey club.
Binky: “GENIUS! Fantastic! Love that!” Guy confirms. Then he emphasizes to his team: “It’s not just about the food this time. It’s a full experience, so Johnny, you—” Johnny cuts him off with: “—Oh, I’m gonna be REAL gay.” “You’re gay?” Dean asks, deeply puzzled.
Dan: In Rachael’s brainstorm, Kathy decides to make a grilled cheese club with seitan bacon (another one of my vegan staples), Hines decides to make a burger with special sauce, and Carnie chooses to make a tuna melt with caramelized onions that I really wanted to try. Mark my words, Carnie might be the sleeper of the season. At the last minute, Kathy subs out the seitan bacon for a tapenade. Then it’s show time!
Binky: Johnny confides his serving strategy: “To be honest, I’m trying to be as over-the-top as possible. I need to add some kicks, I need to turn, I need to joke with people. They have to sit through another whole team doing the same thing, so I need to set us apart from Rachael’s team.”
Dan: Diners loved Johnny, he really showed what an entertainer he can be when the orders piled up and the team got behind. Chilli complained about how tough it was to make all the burgers, and Dean ran out of Gruyere so the “melt” part of his tuna melts kind of fell out of the equation. Kathy was a good waitress, but she didn’t hold a candle to Johnny, something which she freely admitted she wouldn’t. However, she did head back into the kitchen to help make her clubs when they got behind.
In terms of the food, Johnny’s club was a hit, but Dean and Chilli’s food kind of dropped the ball. Some diners didn’t care for Chilli’s special sauce, and other diners felt that Dean’s melt didn’t have enough cheese. On the other side of the field, people missed the bacon in Kathy’s club, but didn’t have too many complaints other than that.
Binky: Team Guy is devastated to learn that they have lost again to Team Rachael. Chilli and Dean, as the bottom two finishers, must battle it out in the blind tasting by creating milkshakes. Sadly, it’s Chilli who has to say goodbye to her teammates, leaving only Dean and Johnny to battle on for Team Guy.
Dan: Can’t say I’m surprised. After seeing her walk like an ostrich through the field last week, I thought it was her time to go. Next week, the celebrities are hosting a kid’s party. Should be wildly hilarious and just as ridiculous. Thanks again to Binky for collaborating with me on this tag-team recap! If you didn’t get enough Johnny Weir, visit Binky’s Johnny Weir Blog for fan news and thousands of exclusive photos. See you next week!