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The Horror… of Sandra Lee

horrific old people

By no means am I a food snob. I love making easy recipes whenever I get the chance, and I’ve been known to use a shortcut or two to wind up with a delicious dish. But a line has to be drawn somewhere. Unfortunately for food, Sandra Lee cartwheels, backflips, somersaults, and then handsprings way past that line onto one of her crappy “tablescapes.“ Don’t worry, she stuck the landing. But seriously, she has no business being on the Food Network. 

One of my favorite gems is Sandra’s Kwanzaa Cake. I’m not even going to link to it because it’s so embarrassing, but Google it and it’ll come up. The Food Network itself doesn’t even seem to take it seriously, as the description reads: “Semi-Homemade makes a most amazingly beautiful cake for Kwanza.” They didn’t even spell Kwanzaa right. It’s not amazingly beautiful, nor is it amazing OR beautiful. It should read: “Sandra Lee slaps together four things from a grocery store and calls it a cake. Don’t serve it for Kwanzaa, your guests will vomit.”

Now listen, I understand that people want easy recipes and fast party ideas, but Sandra Lee provides neither. I can just imagine the “research” she does for her show. I bet she walks through the aisles of her local mega-store while wearing a blindfold and swinging her arm violently to knock things off the shelf and into her cart. “Well, I knocked some ham, frosting, kale, and tropical scented Febreze into my cart, I think this calls for a Christmas Luau party!” It’s crap. Utter crap.

I love Rachael Ray, I love Melissa D’Arabian; they do easy food deliciously. Sandra Lee opens a can, dumps it into the middle of a pre-made pound cake, and smears some canned frosting over it to honor a religious holiday.

I love Ina Garten and I love Paula Deen. They infuse so much heart, soul, and fun into the parties they throw for people. Sandra Lee buys some matching plates and table cloths from the dollar store, throws on a Halloween costume from a few years ago (or not, maybe that’s how she dresses), and overwhelms all five senses of her guests.

Dear God, I can’t even imagine going to one of her dinner parties without wanting to gouge my eyes out, or better yet, end my misery by poisoning myself with some of her food. The horror… the horror…

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Posted by Dan Kamys, 11:19 AM

This entry was posted on Friday, December 28th, 2012 at 11:19 am and is filed under advice, food network, food network star, Rachael Ray, sandra lee, tv, unhealthy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

  • judy thompson

    Oh, BUT you are a snob of the worst kind! Some of her recipes are fine, some are NOT. But that is the case with everyone’s recipes. There is nothing wrong with buying decorations from the dollar store. EVERYONE in this world is not overflowing with money. Some people pay their “bills” first then try to spend what little they have for “Fancy”. Some people work for a living and do not have time left to play in the kitchen all day. You need to get out into the REAL world where the majority of the population live. You have “judged” this lady as well as everyone who is not able to “waste” money. Remember what The Bible says regarding judgement???

  • Holly Edwards

    AMEN to everything said about Sandra Lee. I tried one of her recipes and even my dogs wouldn’t eat it and they would eat out of the litter box.

  • http://www.chewonthatblog.com Dan Kamys

    Hi Judy,

    I’m sorry if you misunderstood my argument. Nowhere do I say that buying things from the dollar store is a bad thing. What I was saying is that her buying everything that matches is tacky and that her recipes take too many unhealthy shortcuts. For example, making a simple frosting involves mixing sugar and milk, which is actually cheaper than buying a can.

    I frequently buy things from the dollar store, especially when I was in college. By no means am I overflowing with money either. What I’m saying is that there’s a way to do things on a budget, and I wholeheartedly disagree with the way Sandra Lee goes about it. She creates unhealthy recipes and overwhelms the senses of her guests.

    I’m also aware of what the Bible says on judgement, but I don’t think Sandra Lee would be on national TV if A. she wasn’t good at what she does and B. if she wasn’t prepared to be judged.

    Thanks for reading!

    Dan

  • jacquelynne whitt-mitchell

    Sandra lee is great!! Her show clearly states “semi homemade” so your nasty remarks are not warranted….I love her shortcuts and use most of them; especially with four grandchildren..If you dislike her that much, choose another program to watch..she doesn’t deserve these ugly remarks

  • http://www.chewonthatblog.com Dan Kamys

    Haha thanks for reading Holly! I love budget cooking, I just don’t call what Sandra Lee does cooking. Hence, my argument of her not being on the Food Network!

    Thanks for reading!
    Dan

  • http://www.chewonthatblog.com Dan Kamys

    Hi Jacquelynne,

    I’m sorry we disagree on Sandra Lee. It’s not personal against her, I just don’t like the concept for her show. If it were Ina Garten doing those recipes, I’d still hate it.

    I actually like her new show where she makes restaurant dishes. Semi-Homemade is just not for me!

    Thanks for reading!
    Dan

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