A Love Letter… To An Epic Pork Chop

a pork chop from the restaurant Epic Chicago

Dear Epic Pork Chop,

Prior to meeting you, I loathed your kind. They were thin, flimsy, and tasted like cardboard that bathed in gray, flavorless liquids. I continually gave them repeated chances, to no avail. Every time I’d open my heart to them, they’d return my gesture by nearly breaking my teeth. I admit, I frequently cheated on them with chicken breasts, beef, and even fish. But that was then and this is now.

chilean sea bass pesto basil granola epic chicago

I went to Epic Chicago expecting to have a delicious meal. But I wasn’t expecting to fall in love with something I so openly hated. The lamb gnocchi was the stuff of my culinary dreams, the crispy fried green tomatoes underneath the perfectly cooked shrimp danced along my tongue, and the Chilean sea bass melted in my mouth like a cloud made of butter.

Then they brought you into my life. When I heard pork chop, I admit I got nervous that my perfect dinner would be crashed by an uninvited and unwelcome guest. But then they placed you in front of me. Your caramelized exterior, juicy interior, and thickness all drew me to you. Your friends, Ham Collard and Brandy Compote, were welcome additions to the party. Cabernet took  our love to the next level. 

epic restaurant chicago bread pudding soaked in a bourbon sauce

But then you left and they brought the Bourbon bread pudding in. I don’t understand why you had to go. Well, I did eat you, but that’s still no reason. I thought we had something, but apparently I was wrong. I will search for you to the ends of the Earth. Either that, or I’ll just go back to Epic and meet another delicious dish.

With love,

Dan

Editor’s Note: In case you didn’t get it, this is a joke. I’m not legitimately insane (at least not diagnosed yet), and Epic Chicago makes one mean pork chop. I highly recommend you try them out.

Who? anyone who enjoys fine dining and seasonally inspired food
What? a high end restaurant in a converted loft in downtown Chicago
Where? 112 W Hubbard St Chicago, IL 60654
When? Monday-Friday 11:30 am– 2:00 am; Sat 4:00 pm – 3:00 am
How much? Around $45 per person excluding drinks

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  • Sonner LeCloche

    Dan,
    You Are insane; that is not a bad thing.

    Sonny

  • http://www.chewonthatblog.com Dan Kamys

    Hi Sonner,

    If we had a like button, I’d like your comment. Since we aren’t Facebook and I have more hair than Mark Zuckerberg, I thought I’d comment instead.

    In short, I like your comment. :)

    Dan

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