Follow your own advice, man!
Oh god I am wired.
A combination of loud housemates, an overzealous cat, and all-too-vivid dreams of the undead kept me from getting much sleep last night. In addition to teaching me a lesson about sleep cycles (mysteriously, getting three hours of sleep is actually better than getting five), this experience learned me good about something else: too much caffeine.
I actually had time to stop at the gas station this morning. Why I didn’t grab something better from the grocery store across the street instead I’ll never know, but I chose in my infinite wisdom to inflict a combined 60 fluid ounces of Coca-Cola Zero on myself, in 20-ounce installments, throughout the day.
GOOD IDEA! I always wanted to try to jump out of my skin for eight hours straight. My leg is bouncing faster than Thumper’s, and I imagine my heart is filing for divorce right about now.
What should I have done instead? Gee, maybe follow my own freakin’ advice! I wrote a perfectly informative article about how to cut back on caffeine without cutting back on energy a while back. All good ideas. But did I even bring a banana with me? Nooooo…
-Jim Smylie can’t hit the keys properly anymodskljfldskfjsd