Follow your own advice, man!

Oh god I am wired.

A combination of loud housemates, an overzealous cat, and all-too-vivid dreams of the undead kept me from getting much sleep last night. In addition to teaching me a lesson about sleep cycles (mysteriously, getting three hours of sleep is actually better than getting five), this experience learned me good about something else: too much caffeine.

I actually had time to stop at the gas station this morning. Why I didn’t grab something better from the grocery store across the street instead I’ll never know, but I chose in my infinite wisdom to inflict a combined 60 fluid ounces of Coca-Cola Zero on myself, in 20-ounce installments, throughout the day.

GOOD IDEA! I always wanted to try to jump out of my skin for eight hours straight. My leg is bouncing faster than Thumper’s, and I imagine my heart is filing for divorce right about now.

What should I have done instead? Gee, maybe follow my own freakin’ advice! I wrote a perfectly informative article about how to cut back on caffeine without cutting back on energy a while back. All good ideas. But did I even bring a banana with me? Nooooo…

Next time, I’ll eat one of these as my energy level dips:
Fat-Free Honey Granola Bars
Carrot Bran Muffins a la GirlaWhirl
Energy Packets

Because no energy boost is worth this…much…twitching.

-Jim Smylie can’t hit the keys properly anymodskljfldskfjsd

  • Crabby Mcslacker

    Aww come on, being totally wired on caffeine is practically your duty as a youngster. Twitch and bounce and quiver while you still can!

    Later you’ll be worrying about your blood pressure and your fractured teeth (from grinding all night) and your restless legs and your ulcer…not to mention your weakened bladder. You’ll miss the innocent rush of caffeine hitting your brain cells with few major consequences.

    Enjoy it while you can. Ah, caffeine…

  • clumsy

    I know how you feel! Whenever I’m late for work or anything, I always stop and buy a coffee (instead of something real like a granola bar) and I’m wired beyond function by the time I get in. I guess a good breakfast really is the most important meal.

  • Sarah

    Jim, Jim, Jim,

    Have you ever been told that there is no point in complaining about something if you aren’t ever going to change it. You complain about being “wired” all day because of your caffeine addiction and how you should change this habit and start eating healthier but you are (as I am writing this) drinking a diet soda right now at 9:00 am (BUSTED)! What is the point of writing about trying to change and knowing something needs to be done if you aren’t going to do anything about it.

    Don’t get me wrong Jim, I understand the need for caffeine and I do have a morning cup of coffee everyday. But if you are complaining about this being a problem then shouldn’t you try and do something about it?

    Like you wrote in your post- “Next time, I’ll eat one of these as my energy level dips:” and you list three healthier alternatives – then you should try it and not just write it. A great way to wake up in the morning without caffeine is eat an apple. It is a proven fact that apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. They do a similar thing for your nervous system that caffeine does. I didn’t believe it at first when I was told this but it is true (you won’t get the caffeine headaches either) and IT IS HEALTHIER and aren’t you all about getting HEALTHIER?

  • Jim

    Clumsy – One coffee a day isn’t really a problem, provided you’re eating something to go along with it (something meaning real food, not one of those mass-of-sugar “scones!”).

    Crabby – I already bounce my knee enough to shake cars when I’m at my baseline. I’m pretty sure if I continue getting so wired I could become an alternative energy source.

    Sarah – Ah, you cut me to the quick, senora! Still, I never said I wanted to cut out caffeine entirely (or if I did it was craziness brought on by sleeplessness); used in small doses, i.e. my one morning soda, it’s still a bit of a wonder drug (although coffee would be better and tea even better than that). I also ate breakfast and brought in a banana and some granola bars today, so HA!

  • 60 in 3 – Fitness and Health

    Ack, caffeine, my ancient enemy! For a while, I tried quitting caffeine cold turkey and just stopped my four diet cokes a day habit. I thought I was successful until I realized that my chocolate consumption had gone way up. Funny how our bodies play tricks on us.

    Sarah, not to make this a more serious topic than it needs to be, but you’re absolutely right. We do need to act and not just talk, but even talking is good. Caffeine addiction is just that, an addiction. Sure, it’s not quite as bad as heroine, but it is a drug and our bodies become addicted to it. When we stop, our bodies do odd things to us like irrational cravings and withdrawal symptoms. Talking may not be acting, but at least we admit we have a problem, which is a good first step.

    Took me months to finally stop consuming caffeine and I still get the occasional craving.


  • Sarah

    I totally understand that you need your caffeine intake in the morning JIm. What I was trying to say is that you have more than just ONE during the whole day….I am not here to try and punish you, I was just saying there are ways to avoid it. I mean, look at the picture you used for this blog entry- there are THREE empty bottles of Coke Zero and they are on your desk (BUSTED AGAIN :) ). I am just saying that if you are going to write about trying to cut back then do it! It will pay off in the long run. I cut back from four or five cans of pop a day to one cup of coffee in the morning and a half a can of soda at lunch. It is tough just like Gal said but it is so worth it! And the best part is, once you cut down you will sleep so much better! At least more than three hours a night!

    P.S. I am glad to hear you brought a banana and granola bars to work!

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