Your Weekly Libation: Teetotaler Edition


I won’t try to claim I’ve never drank ’til I couldn’t feel feelings anymore. I’m pretty sure doing so at least once is a requirement in college. But right now, a depressant that makes you prone to emotional outbursts doesn’t sound like the hottest idea in town.

If I were drinking, I would go find a pub that sold Hardcore Cider–a lovely hard cider brand (produced by the guys behind Samuel Adams but apparently unavailable in stores) that, for once, is sweet and crisp without tasting like an Alcopop. What is it about the few mass-produced ciders? After trying some microbrewed dry ciders and perrys I can hardly tolerate things like, guh, Hornsby’s. Tastes like somebody poured in an extra bag of sugar; no wonder the British think cider is for curious teenagers.

Go out and have a pint of the good stuff for me, folks. I’ll be nursing a pint of ice cream and wondering, as people often do, if I made a huge mistake.

-Jim will be more cheerful on Monday, especially if he gets to eat more of these

  • Robin

    Feel Better! I’ll try and find some good hard cider tonight! Maybe even pour some out onto the asphalt for the homies!

  • Crabby McSlacker

    More vanilla ice cream, stat! Might want to grill up a good steak too. (Long walks and Awesome Music sometimes help. And hey, does Star Wars offer any assistance in these circumstances?)

  • Jim

    @Robin, thanks, but trust me: those homies would rather you toast and drink to their memory rather than pouring out perfectly good booze!

    @Crabby: Star Wars offers limited encouragement. Limited because you realize that quotes like “that’s no moon!” do not impress The Ladies out at clubs. Fortunately, I saw Shoot ‘Em Up this weekend, which was so insanely awesome that I don’t think I’m ever allowed to be unhappy again.

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