Breaking my heart and hurting my tongue

What the hell happened to Chee-Tos? While picking up classier lunch fare–cold cuts, good Swiss, yogurt–at the store last night, I saw a bag of Chee-Tos and could not resist nostalgia’s call. These things turned me into an orange dust-coated zombie in lunch hours past, and I couldn’t wait to try eating them again. I still consume a fair amount of bagged chips and such, mind you, but I moved to Sun Chips and Baked Lays long ago, preferring fake health food to the lowly Chee-To. I snagged the bag, packed a portion into a lunch baggie, and cracked them open as a midmorning snack.

Big mistake.

I feel like I’ve been eating a cheesy salt lick, and I’m only three bites in. Is this a sign that my tastes are truly developing? What happens next, then? Can I still enjoy cheap Chinese and Domninoes’ Pizza? What has this job done to me?

  • Andy

    Try Cheetos Cheese and Bacon Balls. More suited to the adult pallette!

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